What CAN matter: anything. What must matter: nothing.

What CAN matter: anything. What must matter: nothing.

I’m in a lot of groups online. Many about ethical nonmonogamy, some about communication. Others about kink or dating or love. I even enjoy a few train wreck groups.

I don’t participate too much. Usually, the answers have already covered what I might want to say, or by the time I really think it through, it’s an old thread.

This is one of those times.

A week or two ago in a group focused on polyamory, some was asking about dating and sex, and wondered:

“Does size matter?”

You see, he and his wife were each other’s firsts, and they were opening up, and he was a bit nervous.

Which is 100% fair.

Most of the answers were, “No, size doesn’t matter to me.” Which seems about right. A few people said things like “Well, anyone who cares is superficial.”

And that struck me as pretty gross.

Because I am firmly in the camp that people have a right to want what they want.

And to some, size absolutely DOES matter. And that’s OK. Just like some people require that their partners be fit, to share their passion for binge watching anime. Or some people are looking for a mesh on political beliefs or a certain religion or philosophical stance.

When it comes right down to it, in love, sex, and romance, anything goes.

ANYTHING can matter to someone.

Someone may hate your hairy chest. Another will literally not be able to take their eyes off it as they drool.

BOTH options are OK.

Some people have a thing for well-pedicured feet and high heels. Others couldn’t care less, but hate perfumes.

Also OK.

Some people really love “pretty boys.” I tend to prefer what I like to call the “ugly hots.” Not always, but often.

We all have our things.

There is no trait that MUST be desired by every human on this planet. The fact that there is at least one person in love with an automobile proves that.

And as long as we do our things consensually with others (and ideally, we are not cruel or shitty about it to the people who don’t fit our criteria), it’s ALL OK.

What are your thoughts?

Is there anything that you MUST have in a partner? Anything physical?

Have you ever thought that someone else’s requirement was shallow or shitty, or unfair? Do you have any of your own like that? Or that seem that way to people who may not understand why you like what you like?

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