It’s Not About The L-Word

by | Sep 9, 2020 | Consent | 0 comments

Someone who I did not know well told me last year that they could tell I loved them.

I replied that that statement made me uncomfortable. I also noted that many of their pronunciations in the past also did not fit well with me, or accurately portray my thoughts.

They never really seemed to listen to me when I told them that they were reading me wrong. In this case, they very particularly obsessed over the wording of “love” and what it meant to them or to me, while missing the entire point of my discomfort.

“It’s not about the L-word, ya dumb fuck.

It’s about you assigning emotions to me that I don’t feel.”

Period.

Replace “I can tell you love me” in any relationship that is non-intimate and does not have that depth with anything, like:

“It’s obvious you hate me.”

“I know you’re thinking that…”

“You don’t have to get so upset.”

“What you really MEANT was…” And so on.

In fact, I’d like to suggest that as a society we stop telling people what they feel and think (even when we feel sure) and start asking them.

Or, in other words, stop being assholes to each other.

Just a thought.

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