To me, standards and boundaries go hand-in-hand. Boundaries inform standards of behavior at the very least.
And it’s not healthy to lower those.
But let’s say we’re talking about other standards.
How someone looks, for example.
Why should I care if I’m attracted to someone? Why should you? Don’t we all have a right to be with people we find attractive?
Not necessarily super-model gorgeous (although if that’s your thing, I’m happy to get WAY out of your way), but attractive to us. Enough to make us catch our breath simply to lay eyes on them, for our heart to skip a beat when they smile, or for our pulses to race when the give us “that look,” whatever it is?
And frankly, why should YOU care what my standards of attractiveness are? Unless you think they are too high for you, and you want a chance.
Here’s the thing though: If I lower my standards, then they are lowered for everyone.
And you have more competition.
And here’s another thing: How would you feel if you knew that THE ONLY REASON you ever got a chance with someone was because they lowered their standards?
Or that they only reason they are still with you is because they went with their second or third choice?
I wouldn’t do that to anyone, and I wouldn’t do it to myself.
Which may disappoint some people. That’s alright. I’m not here to make everyone happy.
I’m here to make MY best choices for me.
You do the same for you.
And sometimes, people making their very best choices choose each other, and then it’s ON.
That’s why I don’t get it when people ask me to lower my standards (yes, they really do), or complain about my standards being too high, or whatever.
Because don’t you want (deserve) someone who wants EXACTLY who you are, rather than settling for the generic brand?
What are your thoughts?
Have you ever lowered your standards and had it turn out well? Ever lowered them and had it turn out awfully?
Have you ever wished someone would lower their standards to give you a chance? How do you feel about that idea now?