And I realize I may be VERY VERY wrong. But you know what? That’s OK.
This is a personal writing. My ex-husband was emotionally abusive in the way that mentally ill addicts can be, without remorse, without regret. I didn’t realize it until I was out of the relationship because I was incredibly naive, but looking back, it is incredibly clear.
I was (and still am in many ways) introverted and awkward for as long as I knew him, and he used that as a weapon against me.
Once, he told me that a certain group of people didn’t like me, that they complained to him about me bragging too much (I had just bought my first new car that day, and was offering rides, because I was so proud), and that I was insensitive.
Perhaps I was insensitive. Perhaps, in some ways, I still am. I’m working on my flaws.
However, my response then was:
If people continue talking with me and smiling at me, and interacting with me out of choice, then I will assume they want to be there, with me. I will not chase people down. I usually let them come to me. If they come to me, and dislike what they are experiencing, they are welcome to leave, or they deserve being profoundly annoyed.
And I still feel that way. I assume that if you put yourself into my life, it’s because you want to be there, and because you like me. And so, I treat you that way, when you interact with me. And I hope you feel that from me.
Because if I interact with you in any meaningful way, it’s because I do like you. One of my biggest flaws is that I’m not good at dissembling. Most people find it very easy to tell when I don’t like them, because I’m not good at hiding it, and I avoid them.
Luckily, I like most people, so that’s not an issue. smiles
