I’d pause my game for you.

I’d pause my game for you.

Well, I’d put down my book, anyway. I don’t really play many games. Solitaire on my phone sometimes.

But the point here is more than what I’d pause or put down or put off.

It’s about bids.

Bids for attention.

John Gottman studies couples. And he can predict with an incredibly high accuracy which couples will stay happily together and which will not.

And one of the factors he bases his prediction on he calls, “bids for attention.”

And the key is how does a partner respond to a bid for attention?

And in this case, we’re talking about pausing a game. Or setting down a book. Or possibly turning off the TV.

Or whatever you are enjoying.

To pay attention to your partner.

And in successful couples, they respond to those bids nearly 9 out of 10 times. In unsuccessful couples, it’s closer to 3 out of 10.

So, if someone I love wants my attention, I’ll give it to them.

Because that’s what I would want in their position.

Who would you pause your game for?

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