Last week’s Wednesday Writing Prompt was, “What is one thing you thought you knew for sure about kink or yourself in kink that you’ve found out isn’t true?”
Actually, this wasn’t last week’s, because I didn’t get this scheduled properly, and we skipped a week or two (three?).
Well, you’re getting a peek into my life and mind and the chaos the resides there, LOL!
But I digress.
I thought I was a switch.
For two decades, I thought that because I liked doing things that people told me were submissive things that I MUST be a switch.
And so, since I REALLY enjoyed experiencing those things (and doing them), I must be switchy.
In fact, one of my exes told me that I should find a submissive partner, and I was shocked.
But he actually got me thinking.
And looking over my life.
And I realized that I’ve nearly always been dominant in my relationships. Even when I was at my most “switchy,” I wanted what I wanted, and I got it, or I got out.
But, how to reconcile that with loving to be manhandled and enjoy being tied up, and pinned down?
But once I started really looking at those things, and other things I liked to do, like tease, and control orgasms, and boss people around, I realized that NONE of those things required that I submit.
And in fact, the things I loved to do on the “top side,” I loved for not just the physical pleasure, but also for the power I felt doing them.
And a lightbulb went off.
Or at least it flickered.
It took a while for me to really step into my new self and my new role, and take it for a real test drive.
And it worked.
And I will never look back.
And that’s one of the reasons I constantly campaign against WON TWOO WAYists. Because there is not ONE right way to do kink.
There are individual ways to find your path, and who you are and what you love. And you may grown and change over time, or you may stay the same, and your understanding of who you are may change.
Either way, I’m all about supporting you in your journey, whatever the path.