Sadism: Too Simple A Term

Sadism: Too Simple A Term


So, I was talking on a kink site, the way I do, and the topic turned to sewing. Since I have a fascination with sewing, I ran with it.

After some back and forth, I was called sweet again (which, I admit, I get a perverse pleasure from), because I was talking sewing on a kink site.

That reminded my of a scene I watched between D_S and l_b (they know who they are, I didn’t want to include their names without their permission) on Halloween, where he sewed a lovely pink zipper to her goody bits, making them zip and unzip.

I said:

Hand-stitched. Not very even stitches, but then, she was wiggling around and the blood made the skin slippery, so I think he can be forgiven.
So, there… I’m not that sweet. I watched that scene and all it’s blood with a huge grin on my face.

Just being me, not thinking much of it. He replied:

You’ve never mentioned you were a sadist.

Which gave me pause. Am I? Of course, being the word geek that I am, I had to look up sadism, and found this:



  • Psychiatry. a person who has the condition of sadism, in which one receives sexual gratification from causing pain and degradation to another.

Which led to this:



  • Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on causing pain or degradation to others. Compare masochism.
  • any enjoyment in being cruel.
  • extreme cruelty.

So, no. I’m not that. I am not about being cruel for cruelty’s sake. My sexual gratification does not depend on pain or suffering, either. It is merely a facet of what I do—a very small facet.

I enjoy torment, but only when THEY enjoy torment. The sweet energy that flows. The tears, the amazing connection. The bits of body leaking out.

I don’t like to cause pain. I like to cause desire and feel connection.

All of that was in that scene.

So, I write this for two reasons.

Because I wanted to let the players know just how much I enjoyed watching them, and still think about it.

Because I’m curious about you all define the word sadist in terms of your kink. Not just yourself, but in those you interact with, what you think when you see someone self-identify as a sadist, or what you mean when you call someone a sadist within the boundaries of this kink that we do.

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