Back in June of 2018, I wrote a piece about “time served in the lifestyle,” and how it is not necessarily an indicator of quality, experience, goodness, etc.
@StandandTwirl commented on FetLife:
Save plenty of time and reject a Dom. He will reveal his true nature once he feels rejected. How he handles rejection or disappointment is very telling. Truth be told a Dom doesn’t identify himself, his submissive does.
In my view, the same thing about rejection could be said about anyone, on either side of the slash or anywhere in the world, really.
In fact, rejection is often an amazing tool that exposes the truth of the real person behind the masks, and I make use of it early in conversations with new people.
That doesn’t mean I tell them “no” just to see what happens.
That’s disingenuous and puts me in an ethically shaky position, myself, which is no bueno.
So, what do I do?
- I disagree with something (that I actually disagree with), clearly and with conviction.
- I don’t move my schedule around, and I make it clear that I am busy, and we will have to find the RIGHT time for both of us.
- I tell them when a boundary might be an issue. As soon as I think it.
And this often (not always) results in a mask dropping and an ugly truth emerging.
To be honest, when this happens, I’m often pleased. After all, I now know that I don’t have to waste my time with a thin-skinned, easily offended, insecure twatwaffle.
And that’s a good thing.
Not that kind of good thing.
Well, maybe, now that Martha is hanging with Snoop Dogg…
And those who don’t react in ugly ways to disagreement also make me happy, of course. Because we’ll be able to enjoy all different types of discussion and idea exchanges.