I’d like to congratulate you.
Because if you are reading this, you have not only survived everything life has thrown at you—heartbreak, abuse, loss, pain, trauma, change—up until now, you are also looking for more and better for yourself.
You’ve made it this far, and dammit, you rock!
Survival is no mean feat, and surviving while also pursuing thrival (or at least MORE) is a BFD, and you deserve some praise.
And maybe a bit of help.
Because if you’re looking to thrive now, you’ll have to release the you that you created to merely survive. To become someone else, who is not only capable of thriving, but who feels like you deserve it, and that thriving is the minimum you’ll accept moving forward.
And the skills to thrive are in some ways the opposite of what we use to merely survive.
Instead of creating and living in systems that reduce risk and increase self-preservation, you’ll be looking for risks you can take to create and receive more in your life.
Your image of yourself will have to change, too. From someone who makes it to someone who does so much more.
The you that you carefully built to get you through will need to grow to become the you that thrives.
And maybe you’re already there.
Or you’re thriving in some ways, but could do better in others.
Most of us are a mix.
And it’s the same process in every part of our lives.
We have to give up part of who we are to become who we want to be. We have to risk failure in order to succeed. And we have to trust that the itty bitty, teeny tiny steps we take will eventually take us where we want to go, and keep taking them, even when it seems hard, or like we’re marching in place.
And in that, surviving and thriving have something in common: Stubbornness. Persistence. Grit. Whatever you want to call it.
But where surviving is about reducing possibilities to keep yourself safe, thriving is about increasing possibilities to bring you more of what will make you happy.
And that’s a BIG shift.
But even big changes can be made from small changes made often over time.
And I believe in you.
The language of survival, the language of trust…
I originally wrote about this in September of 2018. It might give you some additional insight into survival and how it can affect your communication in relationships:
The same is true of your language of thrival. The words and behaviors we use when we connect with others, or pursue our dreams.
What are your thoughts?
Who are you now?
Who do you want to be?
What is ONE step you can take towards that you?
If you are thriving (in one or more areas), could you explain how you made that change for yourself, to help and inspire others?
If you are not thriving, or if there is an area you would like to thrive, are you willing to share it? Are you willing to share where you are now, and where you’d like to be? And maybe the first step you’re going to take?
Or, maybe, you could ask for help. Put it out into the universe what you want and who you want to be, and see what suggestions and ideas come back to you.