I think too many people make that mistake.
They like someone, or they are attracted to them, and so they believe they can be trusted.
As the commercial says, “That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”
I know that people trust me FAR MORE now that I’ve learned how to throw normal human cues than they did when I was just as trustworthy, but less likable.
Luckily, I still strive to keep my word and say what I mean.
However, as I’m sure we all know, there are many attractive and personable people who use that as a way to inspire trust (Dr. Oz, anyone?).
So, the first thing is to separate your attraction and like for someone from your judgment of their trustworthiness.
And how to do that?
Well, have they shown they are trustworthy?
The way that happens is when you give someone trust, and they live up to it. It’s that simple.
Not whether they are easy on the eyes. Or whether they say flattering things you want to believe.
And, interestingly enough, part of someone else being trustworthy is inside us.
Do we trust them with things that are consistent with their nature and abilities?
For example, there are people I would trust with my life, or to drive 15 hours to rescue me if I needed it, but I would know that if I share gossip or secrets, our entire friend group, and probably quite a few people I don’t even know would also know it within 24 hours.
Because that’s who they are.
And NO ONE is perfect.
But I can like them.
And I can trust they will always love me and have my back.
And I can keep my mouth shut about anything I want to keep private, and trust them with the rest.