Is that we want to feel like those we love are like us.
“I sometimes wonder if the things that remind me of you remind you of me.”
And they are, in some ways.
And in other ways, they are not.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Both are true.
We have to have enough in common in our core values to really connect with our partners.
Core values might be things like kindness, honesty, even how we handle finances.
But we need to be different, too. Differences create excitement. Allow for exploration and time spent getting to know each other. They provide varied perspectives on the world, and allow us to surprise each other, even after years.
As Anthony Robbins has said, two of the six human needs are certainty AND uncertainty.
We need to feel safe and secure with someone and we need to be surprised and have challenges to overcome.
And when it comes to what reminds us of our partners, I imagine that is as different one to another as possibly can be.
I might miss him wiggling his butt in that silly way he does (without even knowing) after he’s had good sex (or coffee).
He wouldn’t even have that on his radar. He might miss how I’m always willing to set what I’m doing aside to listen to him when he speaks. Or that I’m almost always game for sexy times.
And we likely both miss spooning when he crawl into bed with me at night.
But whatever might remind me of him, I’m just glad to have him in my mind. And whatever might remind him of me, I’m happy to be in this thoughts.