The old ways of BDSMK…

July 15, 2021

I just had a conversation with a friend.

He said:

Why do newer people in kink think older ways in BDSM are all bad?

I said:

Because of shitty folk like [redacted to protect the shitty person].
And some of it is a bunch of bullshit, to be fair.

He said:

I agree some of it is bullshit if people manipulate it to hurt people. But even the newer people use their perception to hurt others too.

I said:

That’s not what I mean.
Look, “old ways” are different depending on who you ask.
And some of them are pretty sound—although not for everyone.
And some were originally dreamed up by maniacal idiots.
The fact that they survived in someone’s head and lifestyle does not make them good.

He said:

Things morph in peoples head, “The Old Guard” thought it kept them safe. But eventually, it damn near wiped out the Bay Area gay community

I said:

Sure. And there are things that are not healthy for relationships or people that continue because someone with enough charisma has kept it going.

He said:

It didn’t allow new ideas to formulate

I said:

People with power don’t like new ideas. They threaten them.

The struggle between the traditionalists and the new generation has been going on for centuries.

And in some cases, the traditionalists are right (although rarely for the reason, “because I said so”), and in some cases, the new generation are right.

In some cases, the new generation has to learn that just because they win doesn’t mean they are right, and their own next generation comes along and changes everything in their way.

The thing is, it’s not always the BEST ways that get handed down.

It’s the ways with the people willing to proselytize. To recruit. To gather people and spread the WON TWOO WAY, even when it’s not.

That’s just how things go.