What If You’ve Been Wrong Your WHOLE LIFE? I Was.

What If You’ve Been Wrong Your WHOLE LIFE? I Was.

This writing is now available as a podcast episode!


I said a few days ago in a writing, “Your experience is pretty much what you make of it, when it comes to women.”

Let me clarify. I said what I said because I was replying to a man specifically speaking to the women’s experience on Tinder. Otherwise, I would be far more likely to say:

“Your experience is pretty much what you make of it, when it comes to people.”

And I believe this, because over a decade ago, I was incredibly lonely, had few friends, had recently left an emotionally abusive relationship with a mentally unstable addict, and decided to change myself, in the hopes it would change my world.

I did.

And it did.

But in order to make that happen, I had to decide that it was ME who needed to change.

Not the rest of the world.

ME.

I am the only constant in my life. I am the one who will always be there for me. I am the one responsible for how I engage with the world.

And as I chose to change, the world became a new place.

  • Where people seemed odd and distant to me before, they now seem open and warm and friendly.
  • Where friendship seemed like a complex series of puzzles to figure out, it now feels easy and intuitive.
  • Where strangers and intimates alike seemed shallow and a bit dull before, they are now deep and multifaceted and brilliant.
  • Where culture and society looked strange and odd in their quirks…well, actually that hasn’t changed, LOL! But now I find it endlessly curious and entertaining, rather than fearsome and tiring to try to keep up with.

NONE of that could have happened if I had not chosen to change.

If I had not been humble enough—and driven enough—to accept that only could I change, but that years had gone by when I did not change, and I had made the errors, missed the opportunities, and lacked the connections because of ME.

And that’s a hard pill to swallow. My “red pill,” if you will.

And yet, it was either accept that I had been wrong and make the changes so that moving forward I could enjoy the fruits of being right, or stay comfortable in my bubble of self-righteousness and fear and disdain and loneliness.

The paraphrase the Chinese proverb, the best time to make a change was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

More Posts

Sunday thought…

Dating when lonely and horny is kind of like grocery shopping when you’re hungry. You’re probably going to wind up putting some things in your

Understanding VS. Agreeing

I don’t agree that Summer is the best season. I don’t agree that cats are better than dogs. I don’t agree that God/s exists. Or

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *