I Don’t Do Hookups (Except When I Do)

I Don’t Do Hookups (Except When I Do)

This writing is now available as a podcast episode!


Someone said in a comment on a previous post:

It is my experience that there are substantially more women that are looking for relationships, than something casual. Just have a look at Tinder. If I had a nickel for every girl that said, ‘Looking for something real, NO HOOKUPS’…well, I’d have a shit ton of nickels.

I’mma explain something to you. You’re a man. Your experience is pretty much what you make of it, when it comes to women.

My experience as a woman (and in talking to women, it’s a common experience) is:

First of all, if I look on Tinder, most of the people of all genders say they are not there for hookups.

Which, when I am, is saddening.

Second, I don’t ‘do hookups,’ because the way some interpret hookups is WAY TOO LITERAL. Like, “Lemme get your name, then touch your girlie bits.”

That just won’t work.

When we WANT to get the D Delivery, we want it. We want it from someone we will not hate ourselves for, after, though.

And that takes a modicum of effort.

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KinkIn15: Shameless

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Nonmonogamy: I do what I want.

This clipped post seems pretty benign at first. Even TRUE. Obviously, because it’s been reposted and clipped and shared by many. And that troubles me.

One Response

  1. Love it! Exactly right. I’ve done a lot of hook-ups in my life, but I can tell you that MY definition is different than most. I’m still friends, 20 years later, with some of my “hook ups”.

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