I saw this meme on FB the other day. It said, “You can do 99 things for someone, and all they’ll remember is the one thing you didn’t do.”
It made me a little sick to my stomach.
Because I CAN see both sides. I know people who are constantly looking at life through, “Why didn’t I get this?” glasses. The ungrateful ones.
I also know what it means to have someone do 99 things for me, and have them all be the WRONG things, things that don’t matter. Things that don’t inspire me to feel loved, but instead inspire feelings of:
- being taken for granted
- being unseen
- being unheard
And regardless of your good intentions (if there are any), if what you do “for me” makes me less happy, in love, and overall satisfied with life than if you’d done nothing, well, then, I don’t want them, TYVM.
I’ll take the one thing that would show me you really care in a way I can receive it.
- Instead of 99 gifts that you could buy for anyone, or that are all wrong for me, I’ll take the one small sketch you doodled during a meeting at work while you were thinking of me.
- Instead of the 99 times you asked me where I was and what I was doing, I’ll take the one time, you asked me how my day went and really listened and shared with me.
- Instead of the 99 times you told me the right way to do something, I’ll take the one time we learned something together, and both contributed to making the results better than we could have done separately.
- Instead of “I love you” said 99 times, I’ll take that tipsy text late at night telling me how much I mean to you and how I make your life better in so many ways, how I make you feel loved beyond anything you’ve ever known, and how you hope I’m sleeping well, and this will be the first thing I read in the morning.
So, I get it. Both sides.
I choose to leave the ungrateful people out of my life.
And rewrite that meme: