Not saying relationships—the right relationships—can’t heal you. They absolutely can.

In fact, they can do more for you than therapy in some cases.

Some.

Maybe even most. I’m not going to try to break it down into percentages here.

That’s the RIGHT relationships, though, and it takes a while, often, to know if something is RIGHT.

And when it’s not right, or not right right now, it can cause harm.

And even when it’s right, it still not therapy. And as right as it could be, if you’re not healthy enough (emotionally), it may not last, and it can turn toxic. Because the things we might need therapy for a fucking HEAVY.

And they can crush a relationship under their weight.

Because most humans, no matter how freaking awesome are NOT prepared to heal others’ trauma. We just don’t have the tools.

Even if we want to.

Even if we TRY to.

And it’s not fair.

It’s not fair to ask someone to be both your therapist and your lover and confidante.

It takes years of study.

And if they’ve had those years of study, they are still your friend/lover/playmate, not your therapist. Because being both causes complications and it’s unethical.

There’s a reason there are rules against that.

Relationships are amazing. When they are right.

But please, if you need therapy, get it. For you AND your future connections.