Paying attention and intention.

Paying attention and intention.

In December of 2021, I presented the topic ‘That Feels Good! Sensual Touch’ for Dating Kinky’s 12 Days of Kinkmas. The original presentation was free to all who joined us live, and was recorded for Dating Kinky’s PLUS members to access through the Dating Kinky Library (over 400 videos and 550 hours of content!).

Here is a clip from that 80-minute show, where I talk about attention and intention.


So a huge factor—and and then we’re going to go into, you know, some of the reasons to do sensual touch, and we’re going to talk about specifics and so on and so forth— a huge factor in sensual, touch is as Cale said:

Setting the time aside to be intentional and to learn your partner’s body to learn the ins and outs of how it reacts.

What happens when you trail your fingers down here?

What happens when you pinch that nipple just a little bit?

What happens when you slap their ass, or you paddle them, or you put rope around their wrists, or you shrink wrap them in a particular way, or you use your foot in their crotch, or you use your teeth to touch them on their neck, or…

What happens?

A big portion of sensual touch is just paying attention, right?

Like just watching what happens and repeating things that bring those little eyeball rolls and flutters or the little moans or the things that make them wiggle or squirm or whatever.

Sometimes, I think that kinky people just really want to be more intentional. To pay and be paid more attention.

To NOT live a live of assumption, or living by default.

To sculpt the shape of our lives through thought and action, rather than settling for what is given to us.

And to really explore the sensations and emotions that can come of being present.

There is more, of course.

But I feel like this is a deeply-rooted core for most of us.

What do you think?

Are attention and intention a big part of your kink life? Or not?

If not, what is?

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