No, really. It’s true. It’s been mansplained to me.
Here are some of things I read this morning in support of the title, and yes, they were serious about them:
- In general, men are the sluts (they do it for the sex); women are the whores (they do it for personal gain).
- I wish I could find the ad-hoc study that was done once, where they put a gorgeous blond and a handsome guy propositioning people after work on Fridays, and EVERY SINGLE GUY took the bait, while no women took the bait. (actually, I’ve seen that video. It was 85% men and 2% women)
- Men have far more extra-relationship sex than women do.
- Women, in general, don’t have a clue what it’s like to be horny every second of every day of your life, and then to have women parading around wearing almost nothing most of the time just making the whole thing worse.
- You have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be horny like a guy is horny. At least not a Mediterranean guy.
May I ask… what’s with Mediterranean guys that makes them so specially horny?
Nevermind. That’s a digression.
Here are a few points I’d like to make:
- http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/06/turns-out-women-have-really-really-strong-sex-drives-can-men-handle-it/276598/
- http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare
- http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/06/when-women-pursue-sex-even-men-dont-get-it.html (that’s the last link… LOL!)
- Do you understand the different between WANTING sex and HAVING sex? Oh wait… I know you do. snickers
- Yes, (straight) men have more affairs—WITH WOMEN. They are still having that sex with women. Good lord, this is not difficult stuff.
- Right, because slut shaming, the physical risk of going off with a strange man, the risk of STDs (Oh! It just slipped off, I’m sorry women are approximately 4x more likely to get an STD from an infected man than a man is from an infected woman, bummer, that), the risk of pregnancy and all those things are not reasons.
- As far as most men go, it’s probably best they don’t realize how much women want sex. Because most don’t seem to have what it takes to understand it, handle it, or satisfy it.
Discuss.
4 Responses
Speaking through my own experiences as a ftnb (female to nonbinary) taking Male hormones:
I had a very high libido prior to testosterone. I wasn’t going three nights without sexual gratification of one form or another. But I also was functional if I had to go without. Now, after almost two years on T, I am not functional without getting off at least three times a day.
I don’t think my want for sex has changed. I believe it is a matter of how I function (or now don’t) without achieving orgasm(s), and the difference between sexually gratifying vs getting off.
Women are wired to keep a level ish head even when at the height of horniness. They are responsible for so must and have to live with the consequences. They have an off-switch, if you will, that is hair triggered. Part of her is still making that shopping list, cooking/ordering dinner, stressed about work and the fight she had with Suzy. She never truly and fully lets go during intercourse.
Which leads to the second difference: of how women get off differently. (All generalizations and there are always exceptions that prove the rule) As a woman sexual gratification was a full body experience that had less to do with achievement and more to do with physical touch and emotional connection (talking about my emotional connection to my own sexuality not to my partners). It is in that full body experience of feeling sexy so I dressed up; flirting and teasing to attract a partner; seducing and being seduced to go to bed with that partner; the foreplay, orgasm(or not), and after sex glow that is sexually gratifying. If the first steps were missed the rest didn’t satisfy to the same degree. If the last two steps were skipped it could still be gratifying to a degree. And a greater degree than most would believe.
On the flip side, as a guy it is all I can do to focus long enough to get work done so I can go home to relieve the ‘blue’. Where the world and work was a distraction from getting off as a woman, now getting off is the distraction from world. That age old trope about getting a boner by looking at carpet… true story! And ‘cure’ is strictly genitalcentric orgasm then, much like using the toilet, the pressure is released and i can go on with my day.
I am not saying that guys don’t want, crave and even NEED full body experiences. We do but there is a larger biological drive, where for women the biological drive is secondary to the psychological/ emotional needs.
I hope this gave good for thought to both sides of the discussion.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I feel like you are comparing release/orgasm experience to sex. I am not making those distinctions. I am saying that the desire for what we call sex (however we individually define it) is not necessarily lower in women than in men, and to say to a woman that it is invalidates her experience.
It also often invalidates the sayer’s chance of getting any further. *smiles*
Lol yes, I agree saying that desire is lower does decrease their chances! And I wasn’t disagreeing about women’s desire. I was more trying shine a light on the reason this stereotype continues.
Oh yes.
The funny thing is, if we just actually take each other’s word for things, we might learn a lot about how different bodies of all genders work, and not get quite so stuck on the binary. *smiles*