In a recent post on FetLife, user Woncebitten commented (first quoting me):

I know I already commented on this topic, but I was talking with a friend who’s new to the scene and decided to recommend your writing and this jumped out at me

the illusion of control.

The idea that we have far more control over our own lives than we do, and that in that control, we are logical, near-perfect specimens of human thought and order.

I think this bears repeating:

As a whole, and based on the comments here I concur that most people do seem eager to take excessive blame upon themselves;

We are willing to accept extra faults in order to bolster an image of ourselves as being more logical than we are.

Indeed, it seems that some of us are nearly greedy for blame if it might help us to feel just a tiny bit more in control.

Well, that’s quite the eye opener.

Thanks for that.

And their comment in turn gave me a way to speak something I’ve been trying to get across to people.

In my experience, we take MORE blame on in private, and deny more blame in public to keep our balance, where I believe if we could just take on the right amount of responsibility ( no more, no less), It would be easier to live in alignment with ourselves and our internal beliefs.

Not a lot to say. Still chewing on this little nugget of truth. Would love to hear your thoughts.