I don’t pretend to have the answer. I have my own ideas, that constantly shift and grow with me and my experiences, of course, but I don’t think there is one true answer that suits everyone.
Last night, we had our first Monthly Kink and Non-Fiction Book Club meeting, and on a whim, I decided to audio record the discussion to share. It’s not high-end sound, but it is enough to follow the conversation, and get a feel for a mix of Dominants, switches and submissives talking from various levels of experience about what their thoughts and opinions of dominance are.
Right Click and “Save As…” to download the 1 1/2 hours of discussion, or just click and listen, after it’s had some time to load.
And here are the two Creative Commons PDF books mentioned during the discussion:
How to Fuck A Woman’s Brains Out – Thorndaddy
Diary of an S&M Romance – Dollie Llama
Here are the questions we asked and answered:
- What is the difference between dominance and controlling behavior?
- Do you equate dominance with being a leader? Leading privately or publicly, or both?
- What makes a person non-dominant to you?
- How much of what dominants do is ordering someone to do something?
- How much is fostering a desire in their partners to do what pleases them?
- What are the personality characteristics of a good Dominant?
- Do Dominants need to be a specific age for you to trust them? Why?
- What is the difference between a Dominant and a Top? What about a Dominant and an Alpha? Or a Dominant and an Alpha?
- Can a Dominant bottom? Are the best Dominants or Tops ones who have bottomed?
- A Dom’s priorities, agree or disagree?
- Her Needs
- His Needs
- His WANTS
- Her WANTS
- Who are your favorite Dominant personalities from film or TV?
Thanks to:
Purejoy
Karis_Devanira
Catamitus
Angelicia
slavetoaKing
oE
Sparagmos
for joining me and helping me eat the HUGE amount of food I cooked, and given their insight into this topic. I changed some of my opinions on dominance, and clarified others thanks to these wonderful people.
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I’d love to hear your thoughts as well, either after listening or just reading through the discussion questions and giving your feedback. More replies and differences of opinion add up to a better living definition, IMNSHO.
*smiles*
