I started off my morning at about 4 am. By 5 am, I was checking FetMail that came in over the weekend.

I was also on our Discord server saying good morning, and as I checked messages, I started sharing a few screen shot gems.

As I got deeper into my messages, I read one from someone who is following my writings, but has never written before, asking why it’s so difficult to get a response to their messages online.

So I was inspired to write this today, instead of what I originally had planned. Here’s a look at the first 12 messages I read this morning:

1. Friend asking advice.

2. Presenter asking for access to our Discord server.

3. This one:

Hi there. I was wondering by any chance you would enjoy getting your sweet little pussy ate for hours with nothing in return

My reply:

Thank you for the offer.

However, not only do I have someone who is perfectly suited to that job as a live-in, I don’t connect with people who don’t even bother introducing themselves before offering sexual favors.

Best of luck to you.

4. Someone asking after a continuation of a story.

5. Why would I take JUST a licking, when I can take ALL my frustrations out?

Hey I wanna be your dirty little bitch I’m currently in Charlotte but can travel to you so I can be at your feet and be pegged and u may use me to take all your frustrations out!

My reply:

Zero interest.

6. Better, while still hitting a bunch of no-nos.

Hey gorgeous, I read your profile and hopefully I’m not being rude or disrespectful but I find you really attractive and I was wondering if you’d be open to having a really amazing time. With all your permission and all do respect of course.

My Reply:

Thanks for the offer, I’m flattered.

I choose to connect with people as humans first.

I do wish you the best of luck.

smiles

7. Thanks for the writings!

8. Advice request.

9. A friend found a typo in one of my writings (not a surprise at all—between my slight dyslexia, autocorrect, and the amount I write, I am fluent in both reading and writing Typonese).

10. Better, but overall kind of a throwaway:

Godamn your absolutely fucking gorgeous ma’am

I just replied “Thank you, I’m flattered.”

11. Hi. (That’s it. “Hi.” No picture. No additional info. Not even a profile of any sort.)

12. And to round out the dirty dozen:

Hi Mistress

I had to say How HOT & Sexy you are!
Id Like to get together for some water & tea
and Good conversation & who Knows? mmm
Id Love to play with you! Im a Long Lasting Very
Exo Daddy Dom & Love eating pussy, Ive had all the
vaccinations, I’m D & D Free & Ive always been
Clean & have will have Very recent tests. I’d Like to
chat sometime Your a Hotty & You have the Sweetest
Body! & The Sexiest Voice!!

My reply:

I’m not currently looking for connections or play with man who identifies primarily as a dominant seeking a submissive, being a dominant myself with a life full of amazing people.

Best of luck in your search.

—

And people wonder why it’s hard to connect online.

I would guess it’s because so many people get messages like this, and they begin to shut down their hope for real authentic connection, unless someone really stands out.

And a very rare few people put in the effort to send a message that is more than an offer for lewd acts, or a thinly veiled attempt at getting bank fodder for their spank bank, because they know that even an excellent message will not receive a reply 75% of the time or more…

But it’s worth it.

In my view, it’s always worth it.

For one, you will at least retain your sense of pride and dignity. These guys seem to think the best they have to offer is their sexual favors. And when that’s turned down, then what?

One of our early risers in the chat read #3, and said:

figure out of the 100’s of that messages he sent this morning, maybe he will get one maybe

My reply is, sure. Maybe. But will that one actually be someone interested in what he’s offering?

Or will it be someone interested in leading him on, to hopefully score some cash or other online currency?

As someone who has been behind the scenes in many different sites, I know that there are a TON of scammers out there.

And I joke that as much as men harass women on adults sites, men (scammers) harass other men (in the guise of women) almost as much.

(In my next 10 messages, there were TWO “women” trying to connect with obviously scammy messages also.)

Sadly, it often works.

Which is why I suggest that you treat other people like humans, and expect them to behave like humans BEFORE trying to get the kink/sex.

That way, when they don’t act with courtesy and respect, your suspicions will be raised, and you can proceed with the utmost of caution, and maybe NOT send that money to a profile factory in Thailand.

What are YOUR thoughts?

Do you have any standards for your first message? Any rules you follow for how you treat strangers online?

Do you have a template you use for first messages, or a formula that’s worked for you?

And what messages would make YOUR Dirty Dozen? Feel free to share (please don’t use actual usernames).

Let’s talk about what works (sometimes) and what doesn’t (nearly all the time).