Forgiveness does not require reconnection.

Forgiveness does not require reconnection.

I saw this on an FB post the other day.

And it’s true.

Someone recently said to me, “Well, if you forgive me, why won’t you speak to me?”

I’ll tell you (all) why: because the forgiveness was for how they spoke to me about my gender and others. However, they have not changed, and so while I hold no ill feelings for them, nor will I allow them into my life to poison my mind or my friends’ minds.

Why would I?

They are sorry they included ME in their statements.

I’m sorry they believe those things about women to begin with.

I am happy to forgive them for their slight. I was not harmed.

I will also not reconnect with them, even though they say they miss me and think of me often with the highest of regards…because I don’t want those words in my life, and I don’t want the person who would say those words, either.

What are your thoughts?

How do YOU feel about forgiveness? Does it require a show of connection beyond the act of forgiving? Is it something you do internally, or something you show externally (can it be both? always?)?

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