It seems pretty obvious to me, both parties consent, right?

And yet, there is this prevailing mindset that all a submissive or bottom has to do is show up and offer their kink, and they “get play.”

Like this conversation I had:

I don’t know if I need to kneel around you. An ass in the air may give you the wrong idea. Haha.

Not without consent. Ever.

Oh I know. Sorry to make a bad joke.
You know I’d probably consent easily too. ?

Maybe. But my consent would matter, too.

This is a common thought process that encompasses a specific set of beliefs that I see as harmful to people truly connecting.

The idea that the sub or bottom’s consent is all that is needed for things to move forward casts dominants/tops into a fetish delivery system role, and dehumanizes the process.

So, I point it out.

No matter what the play, no matter what the game, in every single case, the dominant/top also consents, or it does not happen.