It seems pretty obvious to me, both parties consent, right?
And yet, there is this prevailing mindset that all a submissive or bottom has to do is show up and offer their kink, and they “get play.”
Like this conversation I had:
I don’t know if I need to kneel around you. An ass in the air may give you the wrong idea. Haha.
Not without consent. Ever.
Oh I know. Sorry to make a bad joke.
You know I’d probably consent easily too. ?
Maybe. But my consent would matter, too.
This is a common thought process that encompasses a specific set of beliefs that I see as harmful to people truly connecting.
The idea that the sub or bottom’s consent is all that is needed for things to move forward casts dominants/tops into a fetish delivery system role, and dehumanizes the process.
So, I point it out.
No matter what the play, no matter what the game, in every single case, the dominant/top also consents, or it does not happen.