I sort of do this.
I act as if someone is trustworthy until they give me proof they are not.
But I don’t really TRUST them.
I wrote “Trust In Kink Is A Very Different Beast, For Me” in 2017, and since then, I have realized that the way I use the word trust overall is different from how most people use it. (https://datingkinky.com/blog/lifestyle-thoughts/trust-in-kink-is-a-very-different-beast-for-me/)
It doesn’t matter that I don’t really trust them, though.
Because I have strong boundaries.
And as soon as someone bumps up against one of those, I’m on alert.
And if they aren’t 100% gracious about my boundary, and able to take that “No” from me, then they are gone.
And doesn’t matter if they were trustworthy at all.
Only matters that they are not compatible with me.
It’s easier for me to be this way. I don’t have to be on guard all the time, I just have to know my boundaries. I can relax and enjoy people as they are, until they show incompatibility. I am not worried that they will ‘fudge me over,’ because they can’t. My boundaries handle that.
I didn’t use to be this way.
I spent a lot more time overthinking and trying to understand humans.
But I’ve practiced this enough that it’s second nature to me now. And I love knowing that EVERYONE offers possibilities to my life.
Until they don’t.
What are your thoughts?
Are personal boundaries much of a factor in your life? Are they important and used every day, or not so important and used seldom?
Do you think you could use better personal boundaries around trust, or even maybe that the ones you have might be too much?