The biggest mistake people make in dating profiles is thinking that people want YOU.

Your profile is merely a placeholder. The communication is merely a process. If you want people to really connect and care about YOU, you have to make the attention they pay to you feel meaningful beyond passing time on a dating app.

What people REALLY want is the relationship they are looking for. They are not looking for a person. They are looking for someone who will fill a role.

Even if they don’t know WHAT role.

Even if that role is a shag. An NSA. A date. A friendship. A marriage.

And they may want multiple roles.

But it’s on YOU to deliver.

They may want to feel:

• Sexy
• Fun
• Intelligent
• Cherished
• Loved
• Validated
• Intrigued (or Intriguing)
• Powerful (or Powerless)
• Happy
• Charming
• Etc.

A successful dating profile is really a matter of aligning what you offer (and WANT to offer) with what they REALLY want as they click through profiles. Make YOU, the you that you present, an obvious part of the journey they imagine themselves taking.

Lay it out for them. Don’t say, “I like to travel.” That will not fire their inspiration. Say, “I love checking out adult-oriented events in different countries, and I’m planning on heading to Folsom Street Fair again this fall for the fourth time. Would love a like-minded partner to accompany me.”

Or something that is YOU.

Give them a path to follow. Sell them the ticket for your ride.

What are your thoughts?

Are you willing to share what someone has said or done that caught your interest online? How did they sell you that ticket, even if only for a few lines of conversation?