And because if you’re anything like me, you now have that delirium-inducing whine in your head:
Last week, for the umpteenth time, someone said to me, “You’re more patient than I am.”
And I said, as I often do, “I’m Not Patient. I’m Curious.” I went on to explain that it doesn’t take patience for me to deal with people most of the time, because I have an insatiable curiosity for what people will say and do, how they think, what they desire, their beliefs and more.
Something tugged at me, and made me do some research.
And I’ve been wrong all this time.
Well, at least partly so.
I am patient.
2 : manifesting forbearance under provocation or strainMerrium Webster
You see, when I say I’m not patient, I’m using this definition, which by it’s very words requires provocation or strain.
Rarely do the words people throw at me online (inspiring the “you’re so patient…” points) provoke me or strain me.
Because of the aforementioned curiosity.
And yet, there is this definition (admittedly, the FIRST one that came up when I decided to research patience):
the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.Google Dictionary
And I have to admit, I am a patient person.
Or, as I like to say, “I’m not at a patient person, but I play one in real life.”
I don’t FEEL patient.
I want what I want NOW. I don’t want to wait.
My inner toddler is throwing themselves on the ground yelling and kicking and screaming about not getting her way IMMEDIATAMENTE (as they par-lay on Frawn-says).
But I don’t show that. Because it’s rude to act that way at 45 (nearly 46), and frankly, it won’t do me any damn good, and actually might hinder me getting there.
So I don’t.
And frankly, it’s not that hard. It’s second nature to me now to overrule my inner Veruca Salt and simply be calm and peaceful, and well, patient.
Which, honestly, I never really thought much about.
Because inside I don’t feel that way.
So, I don’t FEEL patient.
But on the outside, in my actions, in my behaviors, I’m cool as a cucumber. Or at least a slightly warmed summer peach.
I don’t flip my lid.
Maybe 2x a year? I don’t know. It’s rare.
So, I guess I am patient. And I consider that a good thing.
However, the point I’ve been making all along is equally important. Perhaps more so.
When it comes to dealing with people, specifically, rather than cultivate patience, I find it easier to cultivate a lack of provocation and strain.
I rarely take it personally.
I am rarely offended.
I find people fascinating (even when I disagree with them or find their views repugnant).
And these things add up to not needing to exercise patience, but instead trying to connect with people more often in more ways, and experiencing their ideas and words and insights in ways I never could if I were provoked and strained and practiced patience.
So, I was wrong (and ya’ll were right).
And I was right (ya’ll weren’t wrong).
And I’m not only good with this, I’ve learned more about the world and how we all navigate it.
What are your thoughts?
How do you experience patience (if at all)?
Have you always been patient (or impatient)? Is it something that has changed for you over the years? How has it helped/harmed you?