Someone I’d even call a dear friend.
Hid their hurt.
Turned me back.
And I accepted it.
And then, they told me they lied. They said they regretted it. They told me the situation they are in (between a rock and a hard place). I understood immediately how difficult a spot they are in. Torn between something bad and being sworn to secrecy.
No, they didn’t share their secret.
They just shared the burden of having a secret.
And you know what?
Lying to me is their right. I forgave them immediately. Quicker than immediately. It didn’t occur to me that there was anything to forgive.
Their lie had nothing to do with me.
And it is 100% within their rights to tell me or not tell me anything they want to. It’s never been different in our 6+ years of knowing each other.
And I wouldn’t want anyone I know to ever feel like they are pressured into telling me anything, or that something like that could harm our friendship or my support.
And in thinking about it, I’m a bit surprised. After all, I prattle on about honesty pretty often. I hold myself to a honesty standard, and I hold my relationships to one, too.
And yet, I didn’t even think of this as a lie (their word: lie).
And that suggests to me…something. I’m not sure what.
What are your thoughts?
How would you feel if you asked someone how they were doing, and they lied? What if they came to you later and said they lied?