I love KTP (Kitchen Table Poly).
Actually, I should say that I love KTN. Kitchen Table Nonmonogamy. Because not all of my relationships are love-based, but that does not stop me from enjoying mixing and mingling them all with each other.
And I LOVE LOVE LOVE that.
The way I do it.
I love when it works naturally, and people enjoy spending time with each other, traveling with each other, and petting on/loving each other.
In my case, when they also find others in my life sexy, it also creates more opportunity for fun times, which I also enjoy.
But I do not force.
Because a forced relationship (OF ANY SORT) to me is ick, and is pretty much the opposite of what I personally believe that polyamory or nonmonogamy or kink relationships should be about.
And often I feel like people want KTP/KTN as a sort of security blanket. Like a work-around for communication that goes awry, if they know me, they can ask about my partner.
If my relationship with you is not natural and isn’t strong and isn’t OUR relationship/friendship/whatever, I’m NOT there for you to chat about my partner. Because that’s a violation of their trust in me.
And then there are the feelings of being used or being cultivated for a reason outside of being a friend (or more) to wonderful, awesome me.
And I wouldn’t want to do that to another human, either.
When I do KTP/KTN…
I simply invite people.
I don’t tell them. I don’t harangue them. I don’t make “rules.”
I invite them.
- “Hey want to go to the movies with my girlfriend and I?”
- “Some friends and I are hosting a potluck, want to join us?”
- A bunch of people in my ‘cule are heading out for dinner, want to hang?”
And so on.
Then, if connections are made, they are made.
If they aren’t, well, we still have our relationship. However that shapes up. Whatever that becomes.
It’s really quite simple.
In fact, KTP/KTN, to me, just looks like friendship.
And who ever thought you could force people to become friends? Oh wait. Never mind. People obviously do, or I’d never be writing this to begin with.
What are your thoughts?
If you are nonmonogamous, do you prefer KTP/KTN, or do you work better in parallel situations? Or maybe a mix of whatever feels right?
Have you ever felt like someone was trying to force a bond/friendship/relationship on you that wasn’t happening naturally? How did that go?