This morning, I saw this article posted in a poly discussion:

Notes from poly-world: Why you SHOULD have sex on a first date

I admit, I was totally turned off by the title, even before I read it. My expectations were met.

I have this theory:

Any article proclaiming what you SHOULD do (in all caps, no less) is immediately suspect.

And the article really didn’t wow, either.

Nor did the comments in the group I was in, with people reacting with shaming, “So, HOW many dates? That’s not cool…” and “That’s super RADICAL!” (posted sarcastically)

There were a few who agreed, and a few who didn’t. Then there was the one that said, perfectly:

You should do what ever feels right to you and your partner at whatever pace you choose.

And I felt like the shouldy-ness of the world dropped just a few points in those words.