Languages Of Self-Love

Languages Of Self-Love

So, we talk a lot about love languages in discussing how we can treat our partners and friends, even kids.

However, I saw a meme going around talking about how our love languages might be tied into the kinds of self-care we practice as well, which is an intriguing thought.


Physical wellness. Things that make your body feel good and provide sensation.

  • Get a massage.
  • Wear sensual clothing that feels good to you: cashmere, silk, etc.
  • Exercise, moving your body.
  • Spa treatments.
  • Body positivity.
  • Masturbation.
  • Smile and stand up straight.

Acts of Service

Doing things/planning things to make your life easier or more efficient.

  • Clean your space.
  • Organize your closets or craft room (or dungeon).
  • Journal to get your thoughts in order.
  • Create a to-do list or use a project management software.
  • Perform random acts of kindness.
  • Cook a delicious meal (or meal prep).


Buying/acquiring things that make you happy.

  • Pick flowers for your home.
  • Collect rocks when you walk or travel.
  • Purchase a trip/travel for yourself (bring a loved one if you can!).
  • Treat yourself with something you’ve been wanting.
  • Buy a stock or investment.

Quality Time

Spending time intentionally doing things you love—friendship, love, hobbies.

  • Make time for friends.
  • Spend alone time focusing on something you want to learn.
  • Share time with a pet.
  • Practice a hobby.
  • Meditate.
  • Read a book.
  • Indulge in a movie or show that you really love.

Words of Affirmation

Giving yourself positive feedback and reinforcement.

  • Journal about the positive things in your life.
  • Create mantras and practice them.
  • Daily affirmations.
  • Give yourself kudos for accomplishments.
  • Think about things you are grateful for.

What are your thoughts?

I know that for me, these do not really hold as true as the love languages do from others.

For example, Acts of Service is NOT one of my love languages. All of the others are like 1 point away from each other, but Acts is WAY down at the bottom for me.

And yet, it’s one of the things I turn to first for self care—organizing and creating systems for myself.

Pet, however, is more aligned. His primary love language is Touch. His self-care is very much getting out of doors, being physical—camping, hiking, backpacking, mountain biking.

That’s his top self-care.

So, I would guess it’s a useful tool for some. Maybe for all, in looking at different ways to self-care, and maybe get inspired.

More Posts

Be willing to be awful at things.

I said in a writing recently, “I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think I’m built for that.” Someone replied that they didn’t like the

The Sexual Divide: A Rant

This writing is now available as a podcast episode! “I had not realized how different the sexual experience of men/women could be. I knew that

I’m Not A Masochist, Damnit!

In any way. I just don’t like pain. I had a non-consensual scene late Friday night. Someone hit me and left before I could tell

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.