Oh FFS! Quit Yer Whining!

Oh FFS! Quit Yer Whining!

Cheese to go with your whine?

All women have to do is be on a [dating/sex] site, and men will send her messages. It’s so much easier for women, they make all the choices.”

Oh, FFS! This is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard (over and over and over and over).

Men and women, in general, have exactly the same choices, when dating.

Because, you know, male/female pairings require one of each.

Get it?

Let’s look at this another way, from the male POV, and the female.


Get onto said dating/sex site, and start looking through photos. They pick a few (2-100) that they like, and send a message.

Sometimes, they read the profile, and make personalized comments. Sometimes it’s a copy and paste job.

But they choose a few pics from every hundred they see, depending on how picky they are. Let’s say that 10% intrigue them, or 1 in 100.

They’ve made their move. Now they wait.

Let’s say Man A has sent out 50 messages to women he has an interest in, out of 500 women he viewed.

Now, let’s take a look at Woman A.


Woman A signs up for a dating site, and immediately starts receiving messages, before she’s even gotten a chance to fill out her profile, making her realize that very many men don’t care much about who she is or what she has to say. They are looking at her photos.

Hell, some get off a message before she even has a photo up.

Let’s say she gets 50 messages. Without searching the site, looking at profiles, or even being clever and interesting in her profile.

Because men have already jumped all over that.

Now, she can go through those photos and profiles, and JUST LIKE MAN A, she can pick and choose who she sends messages to.

And probably sends about the same percentage: 10%. In her case, that results in 5 potential interests.

Now do you get it?

It’s THE SAME odds. They about even out.

Sure, men often send the first message, but not always. Just check out this thread. In fact, I’ve found it detrimental to message men first… so there’s that.

Just in case you’re not seeing it:

Man: looks over dating profiles, messages who he wants to meet.
Woman: looks over messages, replies to who she wants to meet.

It evens out. Dating men and women (in cis-het relationships like this) meet in the SAME numbers, because they have to.

If you’re still bitching…

There is one other consideration.

If you are routinely getting crap response to your messages, intros, etc… Then there is only one common denominator.

Consider how you market yourself, and quit yer whining!

*mic drop*

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