So, the past few days, I’ve had conversations with several people about ghosting/the fade-away, and how much it sucks.
And it does.
Some of my friends also read my writings (lord knows why), and one sent me a link to my “I Call Bullshit. That’s Just An Excuse Born Of Fear And Laziness” post, and rightly pointed out that when I mentioned that women who turn down men online often get really nasty messages in return, it was just the same exact excuse as the one I wrote about above.
Which is KIND OF true.
Here’s the thing, though.
No one owes you jack shit.
I write to YOU, not to them. yes, I know there might be a thousand “yous” reading this. No, the apparent illogic doesn’t bother me.
I’m writing to you, because the only thing you have any control over is yourself. Me writing to them, telling them what to do, how to think, may make you feel awesome and smug and superior, but it does no good.
You get my point?
So, back to the original inspiration for this post—the old story:
We’ve been talking for a while, then just nothing. It’s rude and it makes me feel bad.
That’s valid, and I agree.
It is rude. It makes me feel bad as well.
But here’s the thing:
NO ONE OWES YOU JACK SHIT.
- They do not owe you a message in return.
- They do not owe you a smile.
- They do not owe you respect.
- They do not owe you common courtesy.
- They do not owe you a chance to prove yourself.
- They do not owe you jack shit.
Hell, no one owes me jack shit and I’m the bomb-diggity.
Anyone can disappear for whatever reason they want to:
- They have a festering hangnail that makes it painful to type.
- Their cat told them not to.
- They have been hit by a bus.
- They are afraid that you will call them a pustulent cunt.
- The need to wash their hair.
- They don’t want to.
YOU choose your behavior. They choose theirs.
And when it sucks and it hurts, I remind myself that the kind of person who does that to me is not the kind of person that I would want in my life, because obviously, there is not enough of a connection.