Life: It’s Painful Without Passion…

Life: It’s Painful Without Passion…


For me, a lack of passion translates into a physical pain. A deep ache. A weariness. A sort of malaise that keeps my energy low and the world looking and feeling more like Kansas than Oz.

This sort of thing has been discussed through the ages. Naomi Wolf says in “Vagina: A New Biography” that:

“By looking at recent science, and asking questions in person and online, I found that the vagina’s experiences can – on the level of biology – boost women’s self-confidence, or else can lead to failures of self-confidence; they can help unleash female creativity or present blocks to female creativity. They can contribute to a woman’s sense of the joyful interconnectedness of the material and spiritual world – or else to her grieving awareness of the loss of that sense of interconnectedness. They can help her experience a state of transcendental mysticism that can affect the rest of her life – or leave her at the threshold of that state, inviting that there is something ‘more.’ This latter experience, in turn, can lead not only to a decrease in her desire for sex but can also risk a tincture in the rest of her life of what can only be called ‘existential depression’ or ‘despair.’” (p. 5-6)

But is it just a vagina thing? Is it that I am female? I’ve been recently rewatching “Bones” from the first episode, and in one of the diner scenes (where intellectual bombs are often dropped during conversation, Bones says:

“For smart people…not being jazzed is physically painful.”

Smart people.

So, is it a smart people thing? Is it a vagina thing? A vagina and smart people thing? Or is it a human thing?

Whatever it is, I can say for sure, it is a me thing. Without passion (not being jazzed), I experience both physical and mental pain.

Not so much that anyone else would likely notice it. Enough that I can, though, when compared to my peak experiences and performance.

This is why I hold my personal and relationship standards so high, not only for me, but for those I am in relationships with.


This is not specifically about passion in relationships. It’s about passion in life. However, I find when I am in a relationship without passion, or with waning passion, that affects the rest of my life in myriad ways.

What about you?

Do you experience physical pain or effects in your body when you don’t have passion in your life?

And if you do, how do you think it affects how you interact with the world at large and the people around you?

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