So, now and again, I post ads on CL. For dates, to meet new people, bulls, heck, I even buy and sell things sometimes.

I recently posted an ad. I described myself:

I am super-smart and interested in your mind as much as your body. I’m good at sex and sensuality and believe there is more to a successful encounter than a grab for the genitals.

I am polyamorous. I am also very selective.

I am bi-sexual, feminine, and driven. I prefer my sex with a side of connection, and a hint (sometimes more) of kink.

I’m moderately attractive. Some think I’m beautiful. I’m curvy, a US size 8-10.

I am a woman who likes to take charge. What does this mean to you? It means you can be yourself. Strong, capable, loving, aggressive, successful… and you can be mine. 100% devoted and rewarded for it with deep intimacy, powerful love, and amazing sex.

I got 137 replies before I turned the ad off. Yeah… pretty much par for the course, if it doesn’t get flagged by people I’ve rejected. LOL!

Anyhoo… I got a peach of a slut shaming reply that I’d love to share with you:

So you are poly and you like no holds barred sex? You never mentioned being drug and disease free with current papers.
Have you been abstinent long enough (6-8 months) recently to be tested and know for a fact you aren’t a carrier or have contracted any sexually transmitted diseases?
No holds barred sex and being adventurous can be fun but not if it’s with someone who has had multiple partners and is careless. Being selective doesn’t mean you know their medical history so don’t even try to act as if you know someone just because you gave them a physical overview before sucking and fucking them. YOU or anyone can carry disease for years even decades and not even know you have it. Don’t be so damn naive. You sound more dangerous than exciting, actually careless and reckless as well. Sexual fun can be of many varieties but when someone gets sick there is no turning back and you can be held liable. Since you are bi, poly and looking for bi or curious men that quadruples the risks since you are so adventurous and uninhibited. I guess for some people living on the edge and the rush from open sex as you described supersedes any fear of consequences after the fact. Must be similar to those who are alcoholics or druggies.
That kind of lifestyle will catch up to you…if it hasn’t already. Just some FYI since you are posting on CL. Have a good day and go get checked!

I responded:

“Dear, thank you for your note. Apparently, you assume that poly means ignorant.

That is not the case with me.

And your little “just helping out,” is a pathetic attempt at making yourself feel more significant by putting someone else down.

It’s really transparent. I feel bad for people like you who need such hate in their lives.

I’ll wish you the best of luck in fulfilling your fantasies. You’ll need it.

I won’t respond again.”

That last bit, the part about not responding is my favorite. That usually just invites them to spew forth.

And it did:

I never said anything about ignorance and btw I’m not the pathetic one posting desperate smut for attention on CL. I tactfully asked a few questions and told you what any Dr. and most anyone would know to be facts.
You are the typical to use the American English language to support your sexual desires by twisting around words and being defensive because you know what I said is true. Those who get angry as you are show the guilt, but with denial you pass the blame. There was no hate at all. If you can’t handle the truth then stay the fuck off CL.
If anyone is pathetic it’s not me…I’m not the one posting stupid shit like that for attention on CL.

Notice he says he tactfully asked a few questions.

From what I can read, the only question he asked is:

Have you been abstinent long enough (6-8 months) recently to be tested and know for a fact you aren’t a carrier or have contracted any sexually transmitted diseases?

Which, as far as I can tell is none of his business, since he’s not writing because he’s interested.

The rest of what he’s said seemed pretty hateful to me. Let’s pull a few things out:

Don’t be so damn naive.
This is what I referred to as him calling me ignorant.

You sound more dangerous than exciting, actually careless and reckless as well.
I actually said that I am clean, meaning D/D free, but again, where did I seem careless? I did not mention bareback, or even definitely having sex at all.

I guess for some people living on the edge and the rush from open sex as you described supersedes any fear of consequences after the fact.
I also didn’t post a call for open sex.

Must be similar to those who are alcoholics or druggies.
And apparently being poly and enjoying sex is akin to alcoholism and drug addiction.

LeSigh

He was just trying to be helpful…

And yet, I did not ask for his help. In fact, I did not ask for anyone’s help. I simply posted an ad, and was 100% clear and honest.

Perhaps he truly thought that he was going to “scare me straight,” or give me information I didn’t know.

Perhaps.

But then, why the put-downs?

Why not just the facts without the vitriol?

Ah, well, I was looking for something to write about today. *smiles*

Thank you, Asshole, MD!