I was not true to my own beliefs, and I effed up.

December 16, 2021

Not long ago, someone surprised me by calling me out for lumping trans men in with cis men when I asked a question to masculine-identified people.

I believe that trans men are men. They are not cis men, obviously. They are men, though. And they and cis-men, and potentially others are masculine-identified.

I was accused of pretending to be woke.

And it rattled me a bit.

And that’s what effed me up.

I then wrote a blog, and asked, “Can a woman mentor a man or a trans man?”

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

FML.

Someone (rightfully) called me out. They were right. And it stung a little. Because I was JUST called out for the opposite.

I fixed it.

Because while someone had me questioning, I did the dumb, and fuck that bullshit.

I know what is right for me and the people I engage with.

And even in the piece where I was called out negatively for including trans men AS MEN were trans men who were thanking me for doing it. Far more than the single voice that gave me shit for it.

Which, I guess, just goes to show how a little needle can get under your skin without you even realizing.

The journey any of us take to get where we are or where we want to be isn’t all good all the time. It’s not always moving forward.

No one is perfect.

But when you’re willing to look at challenging scenarios (especially if they ignite some defensiveness in you) and explore how you can make them better, it turns out you can actually make what may seem like a negative thing into a positive.

In my case, I realized that while I’ll (obviously) make mistakes, I’m on the right track, and I care compassionately about people.

And that I’ll keep working on understanding people who are different than me.