I Ain’t Never Had That GOOD Dick

Apparently.

I mean, I THOUGHT I had had some really good sex in my life. Like, banging through walls, 200+ orgasms, screaming, getting all the dogs in the neighborhood howling with me, even sex-induced aphasia… but I know better, now.

Because I’ve never, in the throes of pleasure, when he “hitting dem waaalls like she needed him to hit dem waaalls” slapped the man I was fucking in spiritual ecstasy.

Damn it! Where is my powerful “deep spiritual heat seeking missile”?

*cries*

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