When Men Cock Block Themselves

I usually write from a calendar of ideas and inspiration. Right now, mine is full through sometime in October.

But, sometimes, I write what’s on my my mind RIGHT NOW. Or I write about something that keeps coming up over and over. Because, I figure if it’s a recurring theme, it’s banging me on my noggin, saying, “TIME TO WRITE ME!”

This is one of those times.

So, the past couple of weeks, I’ve had conversations with several of my girlfriends about the idea of men just getting in their own damn way—cock blocking themselves.

Like, we like them.

We’re attracted to them.

We want to sex them.

Then, they kill our lady boners flat ded with some idiotic remark we can’t unhear.

It’s SO DAMN FRUSTRATING.

We can feel the gates to the pussy closing shut and irrevocably locking down. Forever.

And dammit, we WANTED TO GET LAID!

But once that happens, it won’t work.

It’s gone. There is no more pussy. It’s like it seals itself up like Barbie’s twat, and there’s no longer any possible entrance for them.

And most women I know have experienced this.

(To be clear, I’m sure this happens with men and other genders. I’m speaking about a very specific personal experience here, and, frankly, exaggerating a bit with artistic license.)

Yesterday, I read this stinking pile of manure:

Women Typically Just Aren’t Sexually Invested in Men (FetLife link)

Which is a STELLAR example of the anti-sex miasma some men seem to bathe in like adolescents shower in AXE® Body Spray.

Of course, this is an extreme example. It’s kept this guy from getting laid totally, like forever, so far.

Most are less flagrant. Might even be OK with this lady, but not that.

But when we’re on the hunt for that good dick, one wrong step can close and lock those pussy gates, leaving us like:

via GIPHY

Just like that, but for dick.

And the man? He’s clueless. Thinks he’s winning. Keeps trying for the prize.

And don’t THINK we’ve not tried to push past that.

We have.

And sometimes, we even go all the way, but… it’s never the same. It’s ruined. And we know it.

It’s easier to just pack up our hopes of a good lay away until the next time, rather than try to force what is absolutely going to be a disappointing experience at best.

And THEN, we get to read buckets full of vomit like that post, or hear men tell us that we don’t love sex as much as they do, and we just want to scream and get stabby with rusty shards of metal, because, yannow, we’d really like to get some sex, and a man RUINED IT FOR US.

Because the more they open their mouths, the more they cock block themselves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *