Dirty Talk—Gender Bending

Gender bending during ass play is a common theme and desire. However, for those who might have dysphoria, it can be triggering to refer to them as any gender other than their own.

Heck, even reading about it could be no bueno, so I’m keeping it separate from the rest of the dirty talk information, so it can easily avoided or ingested at a pace that feels safe to you.

Gender Play

I’m just going to touch on this subject here, since entire books could be written about gender play and identity, and by people far more expert than I.

Mostly, what I want to do in this section is point out that no anal play of any kind is specifically gendered.

In other words, men taking it up the ass are no less masculine than they are otherwise.

Women giving it up the ass are no less feminine than they are otherwise.

Queers or NBs or trans folx giving or taking or watching are no less exactly who they were before the experience.

Unless they want to be, or feel like they are.

People are exactly who they are, and they change or stay the same based on their own personal reactions to their experiences.

Now, that does not mean that it cannot be fun to play with gender roles.

While I do not feel more masculine (or what I have been taught and have experienced masculinity as) when pegging a man or woman, many women do, and like to play with that role.

Some men feel more feminine when being assfucked or pegged.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Feelings are valid.

I like to use words like, bitch, slut, whore with my Pet when I peg him, or we talk about such things. I’ve used “man-pussy” to refer to his asshole. I’ve put him in thigh highs, and shoved my panties in his mouth.

I do that, because its fun. And he enjoys it. And he feels more feminine when I do it.

I don’t see him as more feminine, but neither of us is wrong.

And because I love every aspect of him, I love that he sees himself as more feminine, even when I see him as masculine and myself as feminine.

So, I’m going to say that it’s OK to play with gender, when all involved are game. You’re not going to be someone you are not, just because of some ass fuckery and genderplay.

Some Gendering Dirty Talk Examples

“I can’t wait to get you out of these gender clothes, so I can see your gender body!” Implying that you are revealing them body and soul as their true gender when they are exposed naked to you.

“I can’t wait to fuck your gendered ass description with this gendered genitalia.” Using terms like “boy pussy”, “cunt”, or “man ass” to gender the asshole can heighten the feelings of gender play.

“Good gender.” Use whatever gender they don’t identify as (that you both agree on) to heighten their feelings of stepping into that gender role for your play.

“I love how your ass looks in this needlessly gendered garment.” Frilly girl panties, man’s trousers, and etc. Put them in the clothing of their bent gender, and play up how it looks and makes them appear, so they can feel it.

Playing With The Expectations of Binary Gender & Sex

When someone identifies primarily as a man, and is born male, but enjoys gender bending during play, poking at the expectations of their sex and assigned gender can be hot.

For example, mocking their height, weakness, emotionality, or size of their member.

When someone identifies primarily as a woman, and is born female, but enjoys gender bending during play, poking at the expectations of femininity with similar ideas, they are so strong, so tall, too stoic, bitchy, and etc.

These sorts of play easily cross the lines into humiliation, so be sure to discuss what is OK and what is not.

For example, regardless of gender, some people are incredibly sensitive about their body shape and size, so care will need to be taken to keep it hot, not harmful.

Some Gendering Word Examples

Some Non-Gendering Word Examples

• Tart
  (This has been considered gendered, but is now swinging the other way.)
• Imzadi
  (A Star Trek reference. The word was used in the show by people who lived on the planet, Betazed, and roughly translates to “beloved.”)