In June of 2021, Shadenfreude presented the topic “Pretty Please: The Basics of Begging Training” for Dating Kinky’s Weekend event, My Power, Your Power. The original presentation was free to all who joined us live, and was recorded for Dating Kinky’s PLUS members to access through the Dating Kinky Library (over 400 videos and 550 hours of content!).
Here is a clip from that 2 hour show, where she talks about what motivates the submissive to beg in the ways that please the dominant.
TRANSCRIPT:
So there’s two things that you have to figure out a delicate balance for. There’s your submissive’s intention—what are they actually intending or trying to get out of begging—and whether you are going to gratify that or not by rewarding them with what they’re asking for.
So intention wise?
Do you need to be able to read their intent?
So I know this is way easier said then done.
There are intuitive and analytical methods to use. A lot of this comes down to knowing your submissive and having, you know, some basic emotional intelligence or just good observation skills.
So, if you suspect that there is manipulative intent behind the way that they are begging.
If you, you know, if you are suspicious that they’re not trying to beg to make you happy, to beg the way
you want them to, then, you need to address and redirect.
Like no rewards at that point.
You apply constructive criticism, and you redirect their intent towards what you want.
When you do gratify them should be when they are meeting your foundational need.
So again, if you are that sensual dominant, your main desire is to be desired.
When their begging makes you feel that way, that’s when you want to apply the gratification to give them a reward (or maybe even what they are begging for) in order to reinforce that behavior.
Because ultimately, this is behavioral conditioning.
You need to be able to figure out a way to get them to consistently beg in a manner that pleases you.
I also like like to note that, so when you’re rewarding them, even if it’s not the thing they asked for, make sure that your rewards are particularly meaningful to them.
You want to reward their foundational need.
Are they a submissive who also who needs to maybe, feel useful? Who likes to feel, you know, small but protected?
Like knowing their motivations will allow you to come up with the best rewards for them because having reward alternatives to just giving them what they asked for allows you to have a much stronger grasp on that power exchange.
—
What are your thoughts?
As a dominant, do you enjoy begging? What make begging rewarding for you?
As a submissive, do you enjoy begging? What makes begging for what you want rewarding to you?
