Emotions seem irrational, at least on the surface. After all, they are not always grounded in reality. However, I believe that emotions are our mind’s way of communicating information:
Tells me what am I afraid of.
Tells me what am I trying to protect.
Tells me what expectations were not met, and what I’ve lost.
Tells me that I feel good about this thing that’s happening.
And so on.
As warning systems, our emotions are amazing and spot-on, even in most non-neurotypical people. And in the non-neurotypical, even irrational emotions are a warning, that something is in need of attention.
Because how we interpret the world is as important as reality.
And no, I don’t mean that interpreting a car barreling down the street towards you (at 75mph) as a happy horse ambling up to say hello is a good way to get through life—although the importance of how you interpret that and how it influences your behavior is non-debateable.
I mean that how we interpret the feelings we have into emotions gives us deep insight into potential problems and patterns of behavior as well as where we are growing and learning and becoming happier as people and partners.
So if, at the beginning of a relationship, I feel a warmth deep inside when someone I care for smiles at a stupid joke, and I interpret that feeling as love, as happiness, and as a deep crush that I hope to never escape from, I am right.
Now, when I feel that same feeling, but I interpret it as annoyance growing in my gut over the seemingly endless minutiae that make up our complicated lives together, I am right again.
Which is irrational? Both? Neither?
The feeling (warmth deep inside) is the same. The interpretation is different, and points to a changed mindset, a new attitude.
And not, in my view, irrational at all. Just a vision into the deep recesses of our minds, and what we know there that could be of use to us, if we just PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION.
So, this is how the same feeling turns from fluttery sweetness and love to annoyance, resentment and loathing, and how it can turn back again, if we clear out some of the psychological detritus that has blockaded our minds.
Emotions irrational? Nah.
Emotions are a perfect mirror of ourselves, the good and the bad. If we don’t like what we’re feeling, we need to look inward at who we are to find the solution.