One of our amazing team members here at Dating Kinky brought this to me yesterday:
Hey saw something disturbing on fet about a discord server and they “vet” prospective members by demanding nudes, and when you send them to one they are sharing them with an anonymous team of mods you don’t get to know the identity of, and then you’re either approved or denied.
Because if they deny you, they just delete/block you and give no reason, but they still have your nudes and it’s unknown what they’ve done with them.
I saw someone who shared they fell victim to it and were feeling super violated
Maybe a quick online safety graphic about “don’t share nudes with people/orgs you don’t know/trust, this is a scam tactic that’s become more prevalent amid the pandemic”
So, here we are.
I think people during this pandemic are feeling the need to connect with others more strongly right now, which clouds our ability to reason and to maintain good boundaries.
And I’m here to remind you that sending provocative images of yourself to people you don’t know can be pretty disastrous.
And to tell you that just because there is a group or organization, that doesn’t make them inherently more trustworthy.
Now, you’re a grown-ass adult, and you have a right to do whatever you want to. So understand that I’m making this as a strong suggestion, rather than any sort of command.
But I’ve seen people doing things online and exposing themselves to risks in ways that they would NEVER do in the real world of flesh and eye contact.
And afterwards, perhaps like the person my team member is referring to, they regret the decision.
Because, when it comes right down to it, online images are forever. And can be shared with millions (yes, worst case scenario) without any loss of quality.
So, maybe think it through, and choose your boundaries ahead of time. Ask yourself:
- What am I willing to expose of myself?
- Who am I willing to share that exposure with, and what are my requirements for that sharing?
- Do I want to be a part of a group that requires images of me naked to join—and why would that be necessary? (And if the answer is “Yes,” what are their policies handling the content—do they even have any?)
As someone who shares myself with people in various ways online, and who has been doing so for over two decades, I’m not going to suggest that you be a prude—far from it!
I am going to suggest that you think things through, and choose for yourself the risks you are willing to take, and set those boundaries firmly.
Because this is a horrible gross story, and if I can save ONE person from experiencing it (or something like it), I’ll be thrilled.