“I don’t owe you androgyny.” And other important trangender education—with Phoneix Mandel.

“I don’t owe you androgyny.” And other important trangender education—with Phoneix Mandel.

For Pride Month, Dating Kinky didn’t go “rainbow.” We’re not going “back to normal” now.

That’s not my style.

Sure, we did some pride posts. I make a point of posting about interesting holidays, celebrations, and activism throughout the year.

And, something else we did: We finished our first educational video about trangender language, biology, sexuality, and more.

We started it back in April.

Because I thought it would be important to have available to people on my site, where all genders and sexual orientations are accepted and celebrated.

And because we had the amazing opportunity of doing it with Phoenix Mandel, a “Professional Queer,” in their words.

And so, I bring this to you, in the hopes that you might find some of the information you might need to live your live more authentically and compassionately for yourself and those around you with different gender identities.

I’d like to state here that:

  1. Transgender people are not a hive mind. Just like not all women think and feel the same, and not all men think and feel the same, Not all transgender folks of any gender are going to feel exactly the same or agree on everything.
  2. We’ve tried to cover “best practices” and “most commonly accepted” thinking. However, again, not everyone is going to agree. In the south, many people use Ma’am as a term of respect, and some people hate it when it’s used on them. People vary.
  3. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Effort matters.

And I ask you: What is missing? What else do you want to know?

This is our first take. We’re open to adding in more. What did we miss? What could we clarify or expand upon?


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