Don’t offer me something I don’t want, then suggest I do emotional labor to get it. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Don’t offer me something I don’t want, then suggest I do emotional labor to get it. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Today, as I opened my messages, I saw the completion of yet another round of Failing At Connecting, Back-Asswards Edition.

And I finally found the words to discuss this phenomenon that I deal with every day, sometimes multiple times per day.

(I know I’m slow, I’ve said this before. If I didn’t connect with literally thousands of people every year, I’d have the social understanding of a potato, LOL!)

Here’s how the game works.

THEM:
Send me an offer of something THEY want. Usually dominance, pegging, foot worship, or some kind of service. Even a connection. Usually it’s JUST an offer, maybe a compliment or two, nothing more.

ME:
No, thank you. I don’t do [fill-in-the-blank] with strangers.

THEM:
Tells me they are an open book. I can ask them anything. I should get to know them so they aren’t strangers.

Or, even better:

Tells me that since I don’t want them, perhaps I can point them to someone who would (and put MY reputation on the line to do so).


It’s hard for me to comprehend where these people are coming from. I feel like the point I make to them is missed by a country mile. Perhaps I should state it this way:

I am not interested in [fill-in-the-blank] with you, because I don’t know you.

I also have no desire to know you

You’ve presented enough about yourself so far to leave me pretty much completely in the dark about who you are as a person, with the one exception of knowing that you are willing to offer such things to random people online AND to then follow that gaffe up with suggesting that you deserve [fill-in-the-blank] so much that I should put my own personal time and effort into getting to know you well enough to want to give it to you.

For the record, that’s not going to happen.

If you (general you-niverse) are interested in something from me, it’s up to you to create a similar interest in me with your attempts at connection, or live without.

Very simple.

Don’t offer me something I don’t want, then suggest I do emotional labor to get it.

What are your thoughts?

Have you experienced this? Do you see it the same way I do, or do you have a different perspective?

Have you ever been THEM in this? If so, what are your thoughts on what I’m saying? Do you have good reasons for that approach? And are you willing to share?

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