“I had not realized how different the sexual experience of men/women could be. I knew that it was different, but did not realize the potential size of the delta.”
From a transfeminine woman, whose sexual response system had changed a great deal, thanks to hormone therapy.
And I’m glad she got to experience that. And that she’s living the life she has dreamed of.
However, what about the many different ways that this has been said over and over in media and books and…everything…was not clear before?
Until she experienced it HERSELF?
As a cis woman, I’ve ALWAYS known that there is a BIG divide between how most cis men experience sex and orgasm and how I do.
How is it that so many people DON’T?
Do they not pay attention to their partners’ lived experiences? Do they not believe them? How are they missing these huge differences for so many years of their lives?
Heck, even when I’m in bed with a woman, I find SO MANY differences in how we get off, that it amazes me to think that people would assume it’s the same for all cis-women, much less all genders.
Let me be clear…
I’m not saying that any experience is intrinsically better than another.
Nor am I saying that all people of any gender are poopy-buttheads who don’t get it.
I AM saying that if you don’t yet realize that others’ sexual experiences are different than yours—possibly radically different—perhaps because of their gender, perhaps because of how their brains work, or perhaps because their body uses different hormones than yours or uses hormones differently…
…maybe it’s time to start asking.
Two other posts you might find interesting: