It’s funny. I’ve never really thought of myself as competitive.
More cooperative.
Except that Saturday night, as I was teaching my Alpha Submissive class at The Academy in Georgetown, SC, I said in front of a hefty group of people that I am competitive.
And I realized I meant it.
Deeply.
Primally.
And I’ve been thinking about this, because I am also cooperative. Very. I’ll help anyone with anything, pretty much. I like to build people higher, and see them grow and flourish.
So, how does this all fit?
com·pet·i·tive
/kəmˈpedədiv/
adjective
- relating to or characterized by competition.
a. having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others. - as good as or better than others of a comparable nature.
This helps, definitions 1a and 2, specifically. I don’t really see myself in competition with anyone (because really, I’m not a zero-sum thinker), but I find my desires to be the best in certain areas to be quite powerful.
Sexy, even.
Like being the best sex my Pet has ever had. But not just sex, but to be the one who has made him feel the most loved ever.
I don’t think this is a natural thing.
In fact, it’s quite contrived.
I don’t usually care much about others, except when I do. And it’s not so much the “others” with Pet that I care about, but that I fulfill him more than he ever thought possible.
And so I compete not so much with them, but with his experiences of them.
And I’m fiercely competitive in those areas.
I don’t ever want to lose.
