What Happens If I Fart?

Then you fart.

Frankly, anyone playing in the butt area who is going to be put off by a bit of farting is not ready.

Turn around and go back to kissing in cars, kiddo.

Ehhh, maybe not.

But sorta true.

A good shagging the traditional way (PIV sex) creates “pussy farts” or “queefs,” and if we’re willing to risk those for a rollicking good time, then the same can be done for anal.

That said, if you’re going to be worried about it, then watch the foods that cause flatulence:

• Milk and dairy products
• Starchy foods like potatoes and pasta
• Wheat and oat bran
• Foods sweetened with artificial sweeteners, such as soda, gum, and hard candy
• Bananas, peaches, apricots, pears, and raw apples
• Raisins and melons
• Prunes and prune juice
• Colas and fruit drinks sweetened with fructose
• Beans and lentils
• Onions, green peppers, shallots, and scallions
• Cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and peas
• Corn, celery, artichokes, asparagus, and carrots

Now, I’d guess you would know your personal biggest offenders, and be able to avoid them, but if not, take a gander at that list, and take care heading up to the big date.

And if you do fart, anyway?

Keep going.

Laugh.

No need to be embarrassed. It’s a natural body function, and it’s going to happen at some point if you end up practicing a lot of anal.