In each lesson, I’ll make recommendations on products that may make your anal play and exploration more pleasurable.
The lubricants from lesson one are also applicable here (and for all lessons).
For your vibrator choices, I’ve collected a few that I personally recommend as good options. These are not, obviously, your ONLY choices, just a few that I’m offering to help you get started with toys that fit the needs of the butt.
Toys made for butt play have a wide flared base, or flange.
This keeps them from being sucked up there.
You heard me right.
Sucked up there.
Anal sphincters are strong (much stronger than your average vaginal muscles), and they can pull sex toys up into the rectum.
To spare yourself (and your play partners) the embarrassment of a trip to the Emergency Room, make sure your toys have a flared base, meaning that they are wider at the bottom of the toy than at the tip, and has a narrowed section before the flare, to “catch” the sphincter.
Choose quality toys.
And make sure they are designed for butt play (see above).
Yes, I know that toys can be a bit pricey. The good ones are worth it, though.
Because the rectal lining is designed to absorb, and absorb it does. Know what that means?
Any chemicals present in the toy will be drawn up into your blood stream.
Direct to your blood stream.
Non-Porus Sex Toys
Ideally, this is what you’re going to be buying: silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, and treated natural products.
The reason I and many other sex educators suggest non-porus is because you can sterilize them between uses (which gets them clean and helps avoid recurring infections), between people (safer STD/STI protocol), and most non-porus materials used for sex toys don’t cause allergic reactions.
Pay attention to manufacturer’s claims about use, country of manufacture, and the reputation of the toy maker in choosing your toys (including those NOT used for butt play!). Adult insertable toys are an unregulated industry with no labeling standards in place so it’s entirely up to you to protect yourself.
Because raging hives and chemical burns on your backside bits is not what you’re looking for from your sexy times, amirite?
Buy the best: 100% Platinum-Grade silicone.
Any less that high quality silicone, especially those whose pricing seems to good to be true, because it probably is. ESPECIALLY avoid those with the disclaimer that they are for entertainment purposes only, or that they are not for internal use.
If you’re going to buy stainless steel toys, make sure to buy from a reputable manufacturer. Cheaply made metal toys are often composed of previously irradiated or otherwise contaminated recycled metal—usually from the waste of other industries.
This glass is engineered to withstand harsher thermal and chemical conditions. It’s used in many applications including laboratory equipment and cook-wear (things you put in the freezer or oven).
Just as your car windshield is different than the glass used to make mirrors, you will want to choose the right glass toy for any anal play.
Natural material toys made from porus materials like wood can be safe, if the finish is medical grade. If you don’t know, ask.
Ceramic is safe, so long as it is glazed and kiln-fired. The glaze keeps it non-porous.
Natural stone that is highly polished is considered safe, but there is no definitive answer, so use at your own risk.
Speaking of things you don’t want in your butt:
You’ve probably heard of pthalates. They’ve been in the news a lot lately, especially in relation to food packaging. They’re being banned all over Europe in packaging and as additives because of the nasty things they seem to do to the human body.
Pthalates are what they add to plastic to make it soft.
Which seems like it would be a good thing.
They are also usually very cheap, and it’s tempting to buy a toy you might not be sure about if it’s less costly.
However, they leech off into your body and disintegrate in your drawers (the furniture, not your skivvies), melting and releasing nasty chemical gasses.
Pthalates are part of the group of not-so-wonderful sex toys. Here are a few more:
Porus Sex Toys
The opposite of non-porus sex toys, porus sex toys have tiny little holes, like pores in your skin, that trap dirt, body fluids, bacteria and more, and can transfer them from one source to another.
Which is exactly what you don’t want for safe sex, right?
Now, you can use these toys in a pinch with a condom over them, to keep them clean, changing the condom with every use.
However, the toys are still cheap and will off-gas and possibly melt and stick to other toys, even shorting out their own electronics.
Overall, they are generally not the bargains they might seem to be.
Because Cleanliness Is Next To Sexiness
I don’t know a single person who wants a dirty toy shoved into their…anything, so perhaps it goes without saying, but you know I’m going to say it anyway:
Clean your toys.
Clean toys are important. Even if you only use them with one person, you want to keep your toys clean, so that you don’t transfer bacteria.
Even your own bacteria, several days later, can cause not-good stuff to happen.
Clean toys means cleaning your toys when you buy them, after you use them, and before you use them again (unless you’ve kept them covered and dust-and pet-hair-free).
Non-porous toys are ideal, like those made from glass, steel, silicone, etc. Those that are rated as dishwasher safe are the most convenient, as you can run them through a cleaning and sterilization cycle with little fuss.
Boiling your toys for three minutes (after a good scrubbing to remove any debris) also works.
I like soaking my toys for at least 30 minutes in white vinegar, rinsing and letting them dry, then soaking at least 30 minutes in hydrogen peroxide, rinsing and letting them dry.
And, if you want to keep your toys clean and relatively free of “stuff” of all sorts, consider using condoms over the entire toy.
Condoms stretch amazingly, and you will save a lot of cleaning using them.
Of course, condoms are perfect for toys that get used on more than just one partner as well.
Condoms are not a substitute for all toy cleaning, but they do help speed up the maintenance.
Also: if you do strap-on play in later lessons, clean your harness as well. It also comes into contact with your fluids and can build up bacteria.
Great! Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about toy recommendations.
The Hitachi Magic Wand is a sort of gold standard for those in the know. It’s spawned many knockoffs (some quite excellent, maybe even better), and it’s well known as a champion’s tool for a variety of pleasures and (consensual) tortures in kinky circles.
Although the original is no longer available, simply asking someone about their “hitachi” will garner you a knowing look. And for good reason.
I use and recommend the original WITH an important addition: a speed controller.
And for our vibrator lessons, you will also need an insertable tip. Something like this set should do the trick:
All of these things together do add up in cost. However, the Magic Wand is incredibly versatile in use, and is NOT at all just for butt play (of course, keep it CLEAN!).
I also specifically recommend the corded wand with the speed controller for a few reasons.
- It increases the settings from two (with the original) or 15 or so (with knock-offs) to nearly limitless with it’s adjustable dial going from a deep slow pulsing to:
In minute increments or in one sweep of the dial.
- The receiver or bottom can control the speed while the giver or top wields the tool.
These other recommendations are similar, and really only preference will matter. They are silicone, and are shaped in such a way that allows for safe butt play. They have a variety of modes and features.