What does being kinky entail?
Like I mentioned in the last chapter, this could be different for everyone.
For most, I’d suggest that identifying as kinky is accepting that some of our interests and desires are outside of what most would consider mainstream or traditional, especially when it comes to sex and pleasure.
Beyond that, it could be anything:
- Some fuzzy handcuffs and light spanking in the bedroom once in a while.
- Being put on display as naked art in a room of people.
- Engaging in a 24/7 power exchange relationship.
- Spending four long weekends a year with likeminded people dressing up in fursuits.
- Roleplaying favorite fiction characters during sex.
- Getting locked to a St. Andrew’s cross and hit for pleasure.
- Being tied and suspended in the air with rope.
- Wearing latex or leather for erotic feelings.
- Inserting a vibrating toy to wear out on a date in public.
- Sharing your partner with another person or multiple people for pleasure.
- Taking erotic photos and sharing them online.
- Creating erotica with others through chat.
And more.
Every person I know does “kinky” a bit differently.
The community says:
Sometimes I see things on here or read about them or hear people describe activities they have done/enjoy and I think to myself, ‘I am not that kinky’…and that makes me wonder sometimes if I qualify as a kinkster.
—HeartsHope
I believe it’s a mindset followed by physical actions. And boundaries should always be discussed.
— ModelMsChery, 46F, switch/mentor
So, you see, there are a lot of ways to identify as a kinkster, none are more right or wrong than others.
Some are certainly less mainstream than others, sure.
And that’s perfectly fine.
When it comes right down to it, what matters is that we do things we enjoy consensually with others who enjoy the same things in healthy ways.
We’ll talk a bit more about what healthy can look like in kink through this book.
*smiles*
