Introduction

Hello, and welcome to So, What is Kinky, Anyway?

When I started working on Dating Kinky, and I was mixing and mingling with other business people who may or may not have any actual experience with kink, I got the same question over and over, “What is kinky, anyway? How would you define it?”

I didn’t have a good answer at first.

I eventually created a definition that worked for me, and I posted it on the site as a sort of mission statement and welcome mat to those who identified with my vision.

That was about two years ago, and I still get the same question, which I can answer, and then I get a lot more questions, some of which are more complicated.

After all, with the huge popularity of 50 Shades of Grey and the surge in erotic romance, there are a lot of people out there learning more than they ever imagined, and yet, still wondering just how much of this world is real.

Do people REALLY do this? Live this way? And how weird is that?

That’s where this book comes in.

This is a compilation of questions, ideas and comments about kink.

I and kinksters from all around the world share our experiences, thoughts, tips and more with you, to help you sort fact from fiction and maybe, just maybe, help you find a spot where you might comfortably dip your toe in the water and get a feel.

But don’t worry.

I’m not here to convert you.

There is no church of kink, and we don’t have missionaries.

If you’d like to try kink, great! I’ll give you some tips.

If you have a friend or family member or gasp a partner who is kinky, and you’d like to understand them a bit better, I hope to help you.

Or maybe you just want to know a bit more about what us kinky people do? Absolutely. Here’s your chance to peek inside a world full of love and protocol and acceptance and coloring outside the lines we were given.

Welcome.

But, wait, who am I to be writing this book?

I’m Nookie. NookieNotes on most sites. I grew up around kinksters and alternative lifestylers, and I’ve never thought anything else made much sense. I’ve been kinky for as long as I can remember, and have always loved bossing people around. My main fascinations are the mental aspects of D/s, communication, submission, and trust. I have an owned Pet and I am a polyamorous bisexual.

I love to write. I write erotica, kinky how-to books, opinion pieces on my blog and on FetLife (under my name, NookieNotes), and on Medium (as Dating Kinky Team). I’ve traveled the US and internationally to teach kinky topics to people from all over.

I’m the passion behind DatingKinky.com (this site!), a dating site made by a kinkster (me!) for kinksters of all genders, relationship statuses, orientations and more, to search for and find each other for amazing connections!

I’ve always been curious and adventurous when it comes to sex, and luckily, I’ve had a few partners who have been the same, so I’ve explored a lot of sexuality, and I write about it and teach about it whenever I can.

And, well, I’m a big fan of amazing people enjoying amazing sex in a variety of ways, which is why I’m writing this book and sharing my experience and knowledge of kink with you…

Let’s Discuss!

Let’s get to know each other! Introduce yourself and mingle here to meet and greet other students.

Here’s Dating Kinky’s guide to Fabulous Online Introductions, in case you’d like a bit of inspiration. *smiles*