I Did It. Now What?

Well, did you like it?

If so, continue! Do more. *smiles*

If not, you could try it more, or not.

As I mentioned, the first time—the first few times—I tried anal, I wasn’t really a fan. I did keep trying because I felt like I could get pleasure from it.

So, I kept learning and trying. With different partners, different toys.

And eventually I grew to like it.

I still love giving it in various ways more than receiving (I love receiving), but I had to keep trying, and experimenting, and seeing what things worked and what didn’t for me and for the others I’ve played with.

AAR: After Action Report

The AAR is an important part of any experimentation with your partner.

Spend time a day or two after talking with your partner about what you loved, what you didn’t love and what might have gone better.

And elicit that information from your partner as well.

Because thinking it through and talking it through makes a huge difference.

You might find out that something you loved, they loved as well. Or simply asking might get you a new perspective on how things went. Or ideas that you both love for next time.

If you went solo in your adventure, it’s still important to think through your experience and how it felt, and what you might want to try again, avoid and change up.

Verbal Reinforcement

Also, after it all, make a connection with your partner.

Verbally reinforce your bond. That you enjoyed experiencing with them (and that it was consensual), even if (or especially if) the scene did not go as well as hoped.

Let’s Discuss!

Do you usually do an AAR after your play or sexual experiments?

I’ve found that in many cases, it’s like foreplay for another round—because it’s hot discussing the amazing sex we’ve had.